islandhippy

Once known as the safest place in the world, Singapore has experienced a marked increase in crime, notably raspberry snatching from chocolate cakes. The culprit or culprits are operating in the Portsdown Road area of the city-state, close to where terrorist Mat Selamat made his infamous escape. Mat Selamat has been ruled out of this series of crimes due to the presence of alcohol in the cakes. Preliminary investigations have turned up little in the way of evidence and the public are urged to assist the police in their hunt for the thief or thieves by keeping a lookout for people with chocolate-covered hands and faces. Recent sightings of a two-foot-tall hobbit-sized humanoid with a large tummy and eight teeth have been dismissed as urban legend. Investigations are ongoing.